A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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