Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
