i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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