if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
BRING THE BAGELS
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
