Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
