wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
