so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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