Who wears a wallet chain?!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
