you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
