The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
