We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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