this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize