I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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