It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
