that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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