I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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