Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
do nipples grow back?
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