Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
