i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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