i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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