I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
