You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
