these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
