Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
