everyone is single if you try hard enough
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
