i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
