Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
send nudes
from the living room?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
