"it" just moved
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
