Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
