ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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