Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
