I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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