honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
