You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
