so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I came so hard my ears popped.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
