operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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