it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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