Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Let's get the cat blown out
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
