To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
