God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
