Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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