She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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