You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
