So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
