I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
