spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
