Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Can Purell be used as lube?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
