I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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