I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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