HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
