Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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