5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
