I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude i'm inner monologue high
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
